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www.tvsubtitles.net

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"You sure about this?"

3
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"Yes, Gabrielle.

4
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OK, I'm gonna let you off here."

5
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:24,879
"I can't believe you
wanna to without me."

6
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"I don't want to
go without you,

7
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but King Lias' message

8
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said the ceremony is tomorrow.

9
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I'll have to push Argo pretty hard

10
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to make it there myself."

11
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"I can follow you.

12
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I'll get there a day later.

13
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Look--

14
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if  they want you there for
security reasons, then maybe there's a

15
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bigger probem than he's letting on."

16
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"Gabrielle, relax.

17
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Enjoy yourself for a couple o' days.

18
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I  can handle this without you."

19
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"Hmm.  Fine.

20
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Maybe there are a few
problems around here

21
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,657
that I can handle without you."

22
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"Well, if there are,

23
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I'm sure you're up to the challenge.

24
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See you in a couple o' days."

25
00:00:56,270 --> 00:00:58,656
"'I'm sure you're
up to the challenge.'

26
00:00:58,906 --> 00:01:01,422
How patronizing can you get?!"

27
00:01:06,286 --> 00:01:07,765
Any time you're ready;

28
00:01:07,765 --> 00:01:11,938
it's your funeral.  Ah-hah!

29
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You're next, Megalopolis.

30
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I'm gonna cut your
head off and feed

31
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it to the fishes!

32
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,685
But first a special move
I'm gonna put on ya."

33
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"Hey, Joxer.  You all right?"

34
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"Great!  Sh! Sh-Sh!

35
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I'm just listening to make sure no

36
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giants tracked me.

37
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Yeah-- and-- they didn't."

38
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"Mmm-- that's a load off my mind."

39
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"Yeah-- oh, wait!
Where's Xena?"

40
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"Ah-- she's off being a hero."

41
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"Oh.  How come you're
not with her?"

42
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"'Cause I'm a sidekick--

43
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obviously expendable,

44
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when push comes to shove."

45
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"Hmm.  Wait, wait, wait!

46
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That's great!  Don't you get it?

47
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You're a sidekick without a hero.

48
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And I'm a hero without a sidekick."

49
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"Of course.  You're a hero.

50
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A hero of what?"

51
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"I am Joxer the Mighty.

52
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I'm the greatest hero that ever was.

53
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I'm Joxer the mighty;
he roams through the  country--"

54
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"Joxer--

55
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I'm not in the mood for this."

56
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"What?"

57
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"You know--

58
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one day you'll realize
what it really means to be a hero.

59
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And then you'll change your tune."

60
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"I am a hero.

61
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Look-- what would Xena
do in a situation like this?"

62
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"Like what?"

63
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"Like um--

64
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you know-- walking."

65
00:02:52,155 --> 00:02:54,780
"Actually, she would guard our rear."

66
00:02:55,928 --> 00:02:57,030
"She would?"

67
00:02:57,030 --> 00:02:59,701
"Mmm.  And she'd stay _way
back to intercept anybody that

68
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might follow us."

69
00:03:01,127 --> 00:03:02,532
"Oh, 'cause like if we get
attacked from behind--"

70
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"Ah, deadly."

71
00:03:03,686 --> 00:03:04,888
"So, I could fight, I could--"

72
00:03:04,888 --> 00:03:06,048
"Yeah-- yep."

73
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"Great.  I'll stay right back here.

74
00:03:10,388 --> 00:03:11,497
Don't worry-- no one's

75
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gonna get _your_ rear."

76
00:03:14,499 --> 00:03:16,956
"Cupid?!  Where are you?"

77
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"Yo, Mom-- What up?"

78
00:03:23,052 --> 00:03:25,732
"I have an overwhelming
sense of grodiness, Cupid."

79
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"Why?  What's the problem?"

80
00:03:27,411 --> 00:03:29,615
"You did your gooey love
thing on Princess Ileandra and

81
00:03:29,615 --> 00:03:31,043
Prince Sarpedon."

82
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"Yeah--

83
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they're a cooking couple--

84
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it's set."

85
00:03:33,495 --> 00:03:35,614
"But their marriage will
unite their two kingdoms!"

86
00:03:36,127 --> 00:03:37,125
"Exactly.

87
00:03:37,331 --> 00:03:38,404
Look, get to the point, Mom.

88
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I'm real busy."

89
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:42,581
"Their fathers plan to dismantle
my temples that line the border.

90
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If I lose those temples,

91
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I'll have fewer than that

92
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hagster, Athena."

93
00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:47,837
"So you lose a few crummy temples!

94
00:03:48,058 --> 00:03:48,858
Bit deal!

95
00:03:49,072 --> 00:03:50,056
This is love!"

96
00:03:50,056 --> 00:03:51,697
"That's way harsh, Cupid.

97
00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:53,968
I'm Aphrodite,
the goddess of love.

98
00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:55,373
Temples are my kahunas--

99
00:03:55,373 --> 00:03:56,330
the way I know whether

100
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I'm happening or not.

101
00:03:57,641 --> 00:03:59,109
Now, I want you to undo this thing."

102
00:03:59,109 --> 00:04:00,522
"No way!  They're eloping!

103
00:04:00,522 --> 00:04:01,944
It'll be over before you know it!"

104
00:04:02,989 --> 00:04:05,312
"Oh!  This is so not fair!

105
00:04:07,253 --> 00:04:08,614
Ah.  You're forcing me to get involved."

106
00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:09,354
"I am not!"

107
00:04:09,354 --> 00:04:10,432
"Yes you are!

108
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I can whip up a major
jealousy rage in no time.

109
00:04:13,763 --> 00:04:14,980
All I need is an accomplice."

110
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:16,514
"You always do this!

111
00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:18,483
You're gonna find some hero, right?

112
00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:20,575
Like Theseus or Perseus--

113
00:04:20,575 --> 00:04:22,056
throw your little lust-spell on 'em,

114
00:04:22,056 --> 00:04:23,045
then, pow!

115
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They're your boy-toys."

116
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"As if, Cupid.

117
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I don't need a hero.

118
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I can do it with anyone."

119
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"Anyone?  I doubt it."

120
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,579
"Well, then, I guess it's time
for the goddess of love to

121
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prove to her son just

122
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how powerful she can be.

123
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:36,603
You name the dude--

124
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I'll work with him."

125
00:04:40,557 --> 00:04:41,634
"Anyone, huh?"

126
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,337
"Anyone."

127
00:04:46,769 --> 00:04:49,135
"No one's gonna get me from
behind if I walk backwards.

128
00:04:49,135 --> 00:04:52,931
Yeah, guard, guard, guard-- guard, guard"

129
00:04:55,136 --> 00:04:56,780
"Hi, there, studmuffin.

130
00:04:57,932 --> 00:05:00,917
I mean you, big guy.

131
00:05:01,574 --> 00:05:04,337
I need a strong warrior

132
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:06,185
type to do me a favor.

133
00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:08,055
I'd be ever so grateful.

134
00:05:10,887 --> 00:05:12,949
Take this to Princess Ileandra."

135
00:05:13,158 --> 00:05:13,872
"Ileandra."

136
00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:15,574
"It's a wedding present."

137
00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:16,563
"Present."

138
00:05:16,563 --> 00:05:18,355
"Make sure you deliver it personally."

139
00:05:18,355 --> 00:05:22,762
"Oh, OK.  Don't worry.

140
00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:24,293
I won't let you down.

141
00:05:25,875 --> 00:05:27,012
Hey-- you're

142
00:05:27,012 --> 00:05:28,778
Aphrodite, aren't you?

143
00:05:33,951 --> 00:05:35,653
Don't worry, I'll bring it!"

144
00:05:53,684 --> 00:05:55,545
"No."

145
00:06:18,082 --> 00:06:19,456
"Break her in half."

146
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:29,689
"Blood, valor, and victory!

147
00:06:30,207 --> 00:06:35,655
Hah-hah!  Ah.  Ah!  Here you go!

148
00:06:55,578 --> 00:06:57,183
Watch that step."

149
00:07:28,794 --> 00:07:31,155
"He's so strong."

150
00:07:31,612 --> 00:07:33,514
"You saved us."

151
00:07:33,845 --> 00:07:34,861
"My hero."

152
00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:38,277
"My sword is always ready

153
00:07:38,277 --> 00:07:40,683
to pleasure you, my lady."

154
00:07:40,683 --> 00:07:42,967
"He's so good-looking."

155
00:07:59,242 --> 00:08:01,774
In a time of ancient gods,

156
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:06,651
warlords, and kings,

157
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:10,432
A land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.

158
00:08:19,529 --> 00:08:21,289
She was Xena,

159
00:08:22,026 --> 00:08:23,380
a mighty princess,

160
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forged in the heat of battle.

161
00:08:30,339 --> 00:08:31,923
The power...

162
00:08:33,343 --> 00:08:36,307
the passion...

163
00:08:37,858 --> 00:08:40,889
the danger...

164
00:08:44,635 --> 00:08:47,870
Her courage will
change the world...

165
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:53,655
"Ladies, please, please.

166
00:08:54,042 --> 00:08:55,711
"Excuse me.  Excuse me.
Excuse me."

167
00:08:55,991 --> 00:08:57,287
"He's mine, Sister."

168
00:08:57,899 --> 00:08:59,135
"Please--

169
00:08:59,135 --> 00:09:00,228
each of you is like a--

170
00:09:00,228 --> 00:09:02,131
rose in the garden of life.

171
00:09:03,163 --> 00:09:05,530
I've come to sample the
fragrance of but one."

172
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"Who?"  "Who?"

173
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,635
"Princess Ileandra."

174
00:09:09,845 --> 00:09:12,197
"Me-- that's me.

175
00:09:12,197 --> 00:09:13,740
I'm Princess Ileandra."

176
00:09:14,438 --> 00:09:15,760
"Then I have a gift for you.

177
00:09:18,615 --> 00:09:19,943
It's golden finish is but a

178
00:09:19,943 --> 00:09:21,239
dim glimmer of the shimmering

179
00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:23,100
radiance of your cream-like skin."

180
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,566
"Put it on, quick."

181
00:09:28,179 --> 00:09:28,820
"Oh."

182
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:29,678
"Joxer."

183
00:09:29,678 --> 00:09:30,329
"Huh?"

184
00:09:30,329 --> 00:09:31,240
"That was amazing.

185
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,440
What has gotten into you?"

186
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,562
"Ah, ah-- I don't know.

187
00:09:34,562 --> 00:09:36,783
Um-- protecting your rear and uh--

188
00:09:37,365 --> 00:09:39,614
ah, dya-- where am I?"

189
00:09:39,836 --> 00:09:40,786
"Say that thing again--

190
00:09:40,786 --> 00:09:42,206
about my skin and cream."

191
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,872
"Cream and-- skin?

192
00:09:43,872 --> 00:09:46,038
What?  I don't know--

193
00:09:46,649 --> 00:09:48,954
who I am, anymore."

194
00:09:49,628 --> 00:09:51,284
"Thank the gods you
two arrived when you did.

195
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:52,931
I'm Princess Ileandra of Mylon."

196
00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:53,754
"I'm Gabrielle.

197
00:09:54,525 --> 00:09:55,324
Where are you headed?"

198
00:09:55,324 --> 00:09:56,090
"Pyros--

199
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:57,305
I'm going to elope
with my betrothed,

200
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,493
Prince Sarpedon."

201
00:09:59,016 --> 00:09:59,823
"Mmm-- romantic."

202
00:09:59,823 --> 00:10:02,324
"Romantic, yes-- practical, no.

203
00:10:02,788 --> 00:10:03,808
I had no idea it was so

204
00:10:03,808 --> 00:10:05,245
dangerous outside of the castle.

205
00:10:05,526 --> 00:10:07,196
Would-- you go with us?

206
00:10:07,196 --> 00:10:08,306
I'd be so grateful.

207
00:10:08,306 --> 00:10:10,040
After all, you two
did save our lives."

208
00:10:10,447 --> 00:10:13,041
"Ow!  Ah!  Oh!  Ow!
Ooh!  You!  Ahh!"

209
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:19,467
"That is the guy
who saved us, isn't it?"

210
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:20,874
"That's Joxer.

211
00:10:21,118 --> 00:10:22,158
He saved you."

212
00:10:23,525 --> 00:10:28,107
"I did?  I mean, ah, oh,

213
00:10:28,107 --> 00:10:31,477
I did-- I did.
Yes-- umm-- sure,

214
00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:32,419
there must have been,

215
00:10:32,419 --> 00:10:33,562
uh-- twenty of them--

216
00:10:34,243 --> 00:10:36,653
or more-- or less.

217
00:10:37,961 --> 00:10:38,846
Whatever it was, I, you know--

218
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,682
I-- I tore 'em apart with
my bare hands, so--"

219
00:10:42,402 --> 00:10:43,587
"So-- will you help us?"

220
00:10:44,401 --> 00:10:46,666
"Ah, Joxer-- are you up to this?"

221
00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:48,122
"Of course, of course,

222
00:10:48,122 --> 00:10:49,306
it's all coming back to me, now.

223
00:10:49,306 --> 00:10:50,967
They had cross-bows, right?

224
00:10:52,575 --> 00:10:55,461
I mean cata-- catapults?  Chariots?

225
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:56,948
Whatever-- I mean,

226
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,359
I was very fierce when I--

227
00:10:58,359 --> 00:10:59,293
when I took them

228
00:10:59,293 --> 00:11:00,250
out and-- listen,

229
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:01,731
as far as your
skin is concerned-- ah,

230
00:11:01,731 --> 00:11:03,875
it reminds me of-- cream--

231
00:11:03,875 --> 00:11:05,067
just before it curdles--

232
00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:05,949
'cause that's

233
00:11:05,949 --> 00:11:06,999
when it's the best."

234
00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:16,998
"There's nothing like a wedding
to bring two families together.

235
00:11:17,319 --> 00:11:18,604
To you, Linius.

236
00:11:18,604 --> 00:11:21,008
And peace to both our kingdoms."

237
00:11:21,008 --> 00:11:22,276
"And you, Baris.

238
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,915
Peace between our kingdoms."

239
00:11:25,681 --> 00:11:27,550
"It's a done deal,
Mom-- Give it up."

240
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,696
"It's been a long time coming.

241
00:11:30,115 --> 00:11:31,679
Now, to rid ourselves of

242
00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,225
these pesky temples to Aphrodite."

243
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:35,101
"Pesky!"

244
00:11:35,771 --> 00:11:36,647
"This one on your

245
00:11:36,853 --> 00:11:38,977
land blocks my view of the river."

246
00:11:40,462 --> 00:11:42,159
"Who would wanna look at a stupid river,

247
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,710
when you could look at me?

248
00:11:44,052 --> 00:11:45,441
Tell him, Linius."

249
00:11:47,148 --> 00:11:48,066
"Done.

250
00:11:48,066 --> 00:11:50,659
I've always thought this one was ugly."

251
00:11:50,867 --> 00:11:52,182
"Ugly?!"

252
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,521
"Hey, show some class, Mom.

253
00:11:54,775 --> 00:11:55,636
You can't always have

254
00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:57,115
everything your way.

255
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,427
"King Linius.

256
00:12:03,645 --> 00:12:04,849
It pains me to reveal this.

257
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:05,690
But I feel it my duty

258
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,401
as a lady of honor to inform you."

259
00:12:07,401 --> 00:12:08,744
"I know what you're gonna say.

260
00:12:09,006 --> 00:12:10,005
They're eloping."

261
00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:10,942
"What?!"

262
00:12:10,942 --> 00:12:14,366
"Yes-- my spies are more
effective than yours, my friend.

263
00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:15,663
Don't be alarmed.

264
00:12:16,246 --> 00:12:18,903
It'll just save us the expense
of a wedding banquet."

265
00:12:18,903 --> 00:12:21,963
"Yes-- yes-- good."

266
00:12:24,146 --> 00:12:24,964
"Careful, Cupid.

267
00:12:24,964 --> 00:12:25,993
You know I always win."

268
00:12:25,993 --> 00:12:27,918
"It's not the elopement I speak of.

269
00:12:27,918 --> 00:12:29,341
I saw Princess Ileandra

270
00:12:29,341 --> 00:12:30,726
in the arms of another man--

271
00:12:31,671 --> 00:12:33,232
a gallant warrior named Joxer."

272
00:12:33,232 --> 00:12:33,837
"Nonsense!

273
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:34,888
Take it back, woman!"

274
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:35,812
"Oh, it's true.

275
00:12:35,812 --> 00:12:37,230
My friend saw it, too."

276
00:12:37,230 --> 00:12:39,166
"Then I withdraw my approval
from the marriage!

277
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:41,778
I can't have my son
marrying a harlot!"

278
00:12:41,778 --> 00:12:43,088
"Who are you calling a harlot?!

279
00:12:43,088 --> 00:12:44,761
This is vicious slander!"

280
00:12:44,761 --> 00:12:45,511
"Perhaps--

281
00:12:45,511 --> 00:12:48,182
but I'm stopping all negotiations
till we get to the bottom of this."

282
00:12:48,182 --> 00:12:51,919
"No!  I'm stopping all negotiations
until  I  get to the bottom of this!"

283
00:12:57,108 --> 00:12:59,012
"Lust versus love.

284
00:12:59,235 --> 00:13:00,763
You're just over your head,Sonny."

285
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,012
"How could you do that?!

286
00:13:02,012 --> 00:13:03,294
That's way not fair!"

287
00:13:03,294 --> 00:13:04,185
"All right--

288
00:13:04,185 --> 00:13:05,829
I suggest we continue
this conversation when

289
00:13:05,829 --> 00:13:07,173
we've both mellowed.

290
00:13:07,986 --> 00:13:09,041
I'm outta here."

291
00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:19,788
"Oh, I guess I love Sarpedon because

292
00:13:19,788 --> 00:13:20,916
he's the most caring,

293
00:13:20,916 --> 00:13:23,119
loving, sensitive man you ever want to meet."

294
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,068
"He's also--

295
00:13:24,068 --> 00:13:25,543
the luckiest man in the world."

296
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:28,552
"I guess that's--

297
00:13:28,552 --> 00:13:30,212
that's Prince Sarpedon."

298
00:13:33,556 --> 00:13:35,256
"What's he got that I haven't got?"

299
00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:38,884
"Well, Princess Ileandra
for starters, and-- muscles."

300
00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:40,823
"OK, OK, OK."

301
00:13:42,274 --> 00:13:44,842
"Umm-- I'd like you to
meet my new friends.

302
00:13:44,842 --> 00:13:46,275
This is Gabrielle and--

303
00:13:46,824 --> 00:13:48,214
what was your name again?"

304
00:13:48,214 --> 00:13:51,112
"Joxer, for the tenth time."

305
00:13:51,112 --> 00:13:53,680
"Right-- they escorted us safely here."

306
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:54,844
"I thank you."

307
00:13:55,838 --> 00:13:57,481
"Yes, thank you for everything."

308
00:13:57,481 --> 00:13:59,172
"I'm glad we could bring you together."

309
00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:01,637
"Bye-bye."

310
00:14:01,952 --> 00:14:04,041
"Don't you just love happy endings?"

311
00:14:04,041 --> 00:14:05,604
"Yeah-- but just once,

312
00:14:05,604 --> 00:14:07,791
I'd like to have a happy ending."

313
00:14:12,670 --> 00:14:13,577
"Mmm."

314
00:14:14,016 --> 00:14:14,903
"Wait a minute.

315
00:14:14,903 --> 00:14:16,980
You're saying I fought
all of them and won?"

316
00:14:17,309 --> 00:14:19,480
"Yes-- maybe you hit your head,

317
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:20,936
and that's why you can't remember."

318
00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:22,798
"I don't think so."

319
00:14:23,265 --> 00:14:23,921
"Mmm."

320
00:14:23,921 --> 00:14:26,246
"I think it was more like a warrior haze."

321
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,375
"A warrior haze?"

322
00:14:28,752 --> 00:14:29,706
"Yeah-- you know?

323
00:14:30,194 --> 00:14:31,361
OK-- enemy's coming at you;

324
00:14:31,361 --> 00:14:32,275
heart's pounding;

325
00:14:32,275 --> 00:14:33,118
your muscles are flexing.

326
00:14:33,118 --> 00:14:34,637
Then your mind shuts down

327
00:14:34,637 --> 00:14:36,126
and lets your body take over."

328
00:14:36,659 --> 00:14:39,474
"Right.  Well, you seem fine, Joxer.

329
00:14:40,968 --> 00:14:42,690
And Ileandra's with Sarpedon.

330
00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:44,327
So I guess all's well that ends well."

331
00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:46,519
"Yoo-hoo!  Joxer--

332
00:14:47,317 --> 00:14:48,904
over here.

333
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,381
You disappoint me, Joxer.

334
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:55,393
I thought you'd cruise the
hero wave with the happy couple.

335
00:14:55,773 --> 00:14:59,124
You know make sure
they get home safely."

336
00:15:00,405 --> 00:15:01,237
"Wait a minute.

337
00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:04,577
You mean, Sarpedon and
Ileandra need my help?"

338
00:15:04,887 --> 00:15:08,310
"Duh!  Oh, and one other thing--

339
00:15:13,117 --> 00:15:16,666
"Your beauty inspires me
to do the manliest of deeds."

340
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:25,182
"Ooh!  I am so good;

341
00:15:25,182 --> 00:15:28,021
but when I'm bad, I'm better."

342
00:15:38,455 --> 00:15:39,423
"I'm so happy to be with you.

343
00:15:39,423 --> 00:15:40,706
I never wanna leave."

344
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:44,254
"Well-- why don't we
just get married now?"

345
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:45,939
"Here?"

346
00:15:45,939 --> 00:15:47,988
"Sure-- the gods
are smiling on us.

347
00:15:48,204 --> 00:15:48,986
Our friends are here.

348
00:15:48,986 --> 00:15:49,922
Why not?"

349
00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:51,647
"But we need a priest
to bless our union."

350
00:15:52,281 --> 00:15:57,582
"Yeah. Would, um
that one there do?"

351
00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,070
"Oh, Sarpedon-- yes."

352
00:16:04,151 --> 00:16:05,925
"Your eyes speak of desire.

353
00:16:05,925 --> 00:16:08,168
Your lips of ecstasy."

354
00:16:08,471 --> 00:16:09,264
"Hi, Joxer."

355
00:16:09,264 --> 00:16:10,173
"Sarpedon.

356
00:16:11,484 --> 00:16:12,650
"You ready, my beloved?"

357
00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:13,724
"Ecstasy."

358
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,388
"Soon, my darling, soon.

359
00:16:18,404 --> 00:16:21,408
Ileandra-- I have waited so long

360
00:16:21,408 --> 00:16:22,826
for this moment, I can barely--"

361
00:16:22,826 --> 00:16:24,335
"Joxer!  Hah!

362
00:16:24,335 --> 00:16:27,184
There you are.  Sorry."

363
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:30,997
"Ileandra, my love--

364
00:16:32,062 --> 00:16:33,922
I tell you from the
depths of my soul,--

365
00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:36,303
I love you."

366
00:16:37,022 --> 00:16:37,927
"I love you--

367
00:16:38,641 --> 00:16:41,752
not you-- him."

368
00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:54,204
"Ileandra!

369
00:16:54,204 --> 00:16:55,612
What is the meaning of this?!"

370
00:16:56,302 --> 00:16:57,768
"I think it's as obvious as the--

371
00:16:57,768 --> 00:16:59,084
deep azure which sparkles

372
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,688
in my lady's eyes.

373
00:17:01,486 --> 00:17:04,440
Ileandra-- has made her choice."

374
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,705
"How dare you come between us?"

375
00:17:07,453 --> 00:17:09,002
"Joxer, cut it out!"

376
00:17:09,234 --> 00:17:10,022
"Gabrielle--

377
00:17:10,226 --> 00:17:12,535
a man must do what a man must do."

378
00:17:13,055 --> 00:17:14,891
"Ah-uh."

379
00:17:20,265 --> 00:17:22,328
"You will not take Ileandra from me."

380
00:17:29,363 --> 00:17:32,675
You fight with passion,
my friend-- I like that.

381
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:34,686
It's too bad you have no skill."

382
00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:48,128
"This necklace--

383
00:17:48,128 --> 00:17:49,655
is it a gift from you?"

384
00:17:50,173 --> 00:17:51,389
"A trinket--

385
00:17:51,389 --> 00:17:54,520
most unworthy of my Ileandra's beauty.

386
00:17:57,929 --> 00:17:58,830
Where?

387
00:17:59,613 --> 00:18:00,940
Who are the-- Gaby?

388
00:18:01,702 --> 00:18:05,097
Ow!  No!  Stop!  Wait!

389
00:18:05,097 --> 00:18:06,287
What's the problem?!"

390
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:10,418
"You dare to ask me that, after
giving Ileandra a gift of love?"

391
00:18:10,418 --> 00:18:11,859
"Gift-- this?

392
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:14,151
Here-- take it!

393
00:18:16,073 --> 00:18:18,027
You tangle with the
wrong man, my friend.

394
00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:31,441
Go home, gallant  boy--

395
00:18:33,902 --> 00:18:37,707
for your only crime is
that you love too well."

396
00:18:51,728 --> 00:18:53,983
"Oh, you set me on fire."

397
00:18:53,983 --> 00:18:55,210
"I know."

398
00:19:00,524 --> 00:19:01,685
"That sucks.

399
00:19:02,699 --> 00:19:03,787
Well, you've done it, Mom.

400
00:19:04,013 --> 00:19:04,560
You've managed to

401
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,932
mess up yet another one
of my perfect matches.

402
00:19:06,932 --> 00:19:09,528
How can you call yourself
the goddess of love?"

403
00:19:09,528 --> 00:19:12,133
"Oh, get a grip, Cupie!

404
00:19:12,744 --> 00:19:14,762
Love isn't just about
happy endings.

405
00:19:14,994 --> 00:19:18,802
There's also jealous love,
and-- unrequited love,

406
00:19:18,802 --> 00:19:20,007
and tragic love.

407
00:19:20,606 --> 00:19:22,333
And when you strip
away all the tinsel,

408
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:26,010
it's really just about hormones,
isn't it?

409
00:19:27,118 --> 00:19:29,849
Don't frown--
it'll give you lines."

410
00:19:33,988 --> 00:19:35,772
"No, no, no!  No, look!

411
00:19:36,082 --> 00:19:37,613
I don't-- I don't know
what's going on--

412
00:19:37,613 --> 00:19:39,142
whether it's some sort
of sickness or something.

413
00:19:39,142 --> 00:19:40,095
But I'm gonna find out.

414
00:19:40,906 --> 00:19:41,735
And I'm gonna take you back

415
00:19:41,735 --> 00:19:42,831
to the man that you love."

416
00:19:42,831 --> 00:19:43,755
"I'm with the man I love.

417
00:19:43,755 --> 00:19:45,053
Can't you just leave us alone?

418
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:47,750
We'll set the world
aflame with our passion."

419
00:19:49,566 --> 00:19:50,800
"Don't fight the heart, Gabrielle.

420
00:19:51,141 --> 00:19:53,234
It's a powerful little muscle."

421
00:19:54,597 --> 00:19:55,941
"I want to become one with you."

422
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:56,858
"Hmm."

423
00:19:56,858 --> 00:19:58,128
"Can't we lose your sidekick?"

424
00:19:58,128 --> 00:19:59,357
"Sure."

425
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,641
"I think I'm gonna be sick."

426
00:20:01,912 --> 00:20:03,935
"And you allowed
this man to disarm you--

427
00:20:03,935 --> 00:20:04,947
and steal Ileandra?

428
00:20:04,947 --> 00:20:06,147
"He was an excellent swordsman,
Father.

429
00:20:06,147 --> 00:20:07,539
Perhaps even better than you."

430
00:20:09,222 --> 00:20:10,911
"He must be a hired man.

431
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,864
Perhaps King Baris didn't favor

432
00:20:12,864 --> 00:20:14,211
your marriage, after all."

433
00:20:14,211 --> 00:20:15,338
"He was fierce and passionate.

434
00:20:15,338 --> 00:20:17,311
A man like that can't be bought."

435
00:20:17,311 --> 00:20:18,894
"Can you be certain of that?

436
00:20:21,237 --> 00:20:22,467
We will attack at dawn."

437
00:20:22,467 --> 00:20:28,325
"No!  Ileandra went with him willingly.

438
00:20:29,535 --> 00:20:31,285
She has feelings for this warrior.

439
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,403
She's made her choice.

440
00:20:35,136 --> 00:20:35,751
I'm not gonna stand

441
00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:37,236
in the way of her happiness."

442
00:20:48,951 --> 00:20:50,626
"Prepare the men!"

443
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,827
"For an attack on Baris' kingdom?"

444
00:20:52,827 --> 00:20:54,581
"No, for an all-out search--

445
00:20:54,988 --> 00:20:57,201
for the warrior named-- Joxer."

446
00:20:57,201 --> 00:20:58,652
"Yes, sir."

447
00:21:02,817 --> 00:21:05,020
"No one humiliates my son--

448
00:21:05,225 --> 00:21:06,958
and gets away with it!"

449
00:21:07,957 --> 00:21:09,221
"Now, let's go over this again."

450
00:21:09,443 --> 00:21:10,953
"I already told you--

451
00:21:11,598 --> 00:21:13,149
I know nothing of this bumbling idiot

452
00:21:13,149 --> 00:21:14,115
of whom you speak.

453
00:21:14,115 --> 00:21:15,208
I am the one and only Joxer."

454
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:16,194
"Isn't he magnificent?"

455
00:21:16,877 --> 00:21:17,595
"Mmm."

456
00:21:17,595 --> 00:21:18,940
"Ileandra-- Joxer--

457
00:21:19,610 --> 00:21:21,875
look!  Now--

458
00:21:21,875 --> 00:21:23,853
it has something to
do with the necklace.

459
00:21:24,132 --> 00:21:25,497
Every time it rings, you change.

460
00:21:25,914 --> 00:21:28,361
How about some cold water?

461
00:21:30,232 --> 00:21:31,698
This is ridiculous.

462
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,170
Don't touch her, Joxer.

463
00:21:45,622 --> 00:21:47,578
Cut it out!"

464
00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:00,326
"Come here."

465
00:22:07,811 --> 00:22:09,783
"Guys, stop it!

466
00:22:11,384 --> 00:22:12,932
I've had enough of-- oh!

467
00:22:13,369 --> 00:22:14,869
It's gonna be a long night.

468
00:22:15,591 --> 00:22:17,627
Oh, this is so sick!"

469
00:22:24,722 --> 00:22:26,440
"He never needs a
place to hide--

470
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,964
with Gaby as his sidekick."

471
00:22:28,964 --> 00:22:30,440
"Sire, we'll find him!"

472
00:22:31,363 --> 00:22:33,916
"Sounds like a small army."

473
00:22:43,376 --> 00:22:44,861
"It's probably King Linius.

474
00:22:45,093 --> 00:22:46,077
He'll be furious I cancelled my

475
00:22:46,077 --> 00:22:47,470
wedding with Sarpedon."

476
00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,332
"Don't be afraid, my love."

477
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,519
"Ileandra's right.

478
00:22:51,407 --> 00:22:52,250
They're looking for someone.

479
00:22:53,270 --> 00:22:53,708
Now, come on--

480
00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:55,240
maybe we can find
another way out of here."

481
00:22:55,598 --> 00:22:56,819
"You're not suggesting
we run, are you?"

482
00:22:57,594 --> 00:22:58,657
"Have you got a better idea?"

483
00:22:59,015 --> 00:23:01,827
"Hmm-- we stand and fight."

484
00:23:01,827 --> 00:23:04,082
"Joxer-- I don't think that's wise."

485
00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:07,429
"Whatever happens--
our love will never die."

486
00:23:08,891 --> 00:23:10,297
"No, but he might."

487
00:23:28,894 --> 00:23:29,925
"Hold up!"

488
00:23:30,996 --> 00:23:34,804
"Look no further-- I am Joxer."

489
00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:37,568
"Stay together!

490
00:23:37,568 --> 00:23:40,082
He's a dangerous man.  Forward!"

491
00:23:43,211 --> 00:23:48,932
"Come!  Your destiny lies
at the point of my sword.

492
00:23:50,191 --> 00:23:53,519
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

493
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:55,695
"Joxer, what are you doing?

494
00:23:57,725 --> 00:23:58,851
Don't be a fool."

495
00:24:01,794 --> 00:24:04,138
"Oh, sold-- oh, oh."

496
00:24:06,726 --> 00:24:07,613
"Uh-oh."

497
00:24:09,540 --> 00:24:10,600
"Joxer!"

498
00:24:13,556 --> 00:24:14,826
"Take them back to Amphis

499
00:24:14,826 --> 00:24:15,871
They're to be executed for

500
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,043
threatening the peace."

501
00:24:17,043 --> 00:24:19,495
"Wait!  They're my friends."

502
00:24:19,495 --> 00:24:22,666
"You're lucky I don't sentence
you to the same fate--

503
00:24:22,666 --> 00:24:23,977
you harlot!
Take them!"

504
00:24:26,286 --> 00:24:28,255
"Joxer!"

505
00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:30,660
"Up you go!"

506
00:24:31,067 --> 00:24:31,981
"Joxer!"

507
00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:36,208
"It was all a mistake."

508
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:37,552
"Yes, and the mistake was yours.

509
00:24:37,552 --> 00:24:38,682
You toyed with my son's

510
00:24:38,682 --> 00:24:39,677
heart when all the while,

511
00:24:39,677 --> 00:24:40,833
you loved another."

512
00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:41,708
"Please, King Linius,

513
00:24:41,708 --> 00:24:42,583
let me try to explain."

514
00:24:42,583 --> 00:24:43,388
"Don't bother!

515
00:24:43,388 --> 00:24:44,307
You obviously chose that...

516
00:24:44,307 --> 00:24:45,413
I won't let my

517
00:24:45,413 --> 00:24:46,978
son be humiliated this way!"

518
00:24:46,978 --> 00:24:49,787
"Wow-- did you hear that?

519
00:24:49,787 --> 00:24:51,354
Ileandra's really
in love with me.

520
00:24:52,795 --> 00:24:54,841
She chose me over Sarpedon."

521
00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:56,748
"No, Joxer.

522
00:24:57,347 --> 00:24:59,577
She chose the other
one the other Joxer.

523
00:24:59,982 --> 00:25:02,357
The one who just stupidly beat
Sarpedon in Battle,

524
00:25:02,357 --> 00:25:04,700
and then romanced Ileandra
from under his nose."

525
00:25:05,034 --> 00:25:07,058
"Wow,  I really did that.

526
00:25:08,294 --> 00:25:09,565
No wonder they put
me in these chains.

527
00:25:09,565 --> 00:25:12,311
There's no telling
what I might do!  Wow,

528
00:25:12,311 --> 00:25:13,515
this warrior haze is really great.

529
00:25:13,811 --> 00:25:14,812
I'm gonna put myself
under again."

530
00:25:18,022 --> 00:25:18,976
"Knock it off!"

531
00:25:18,976 --> 00:25:20,182
"Ooh!  Oww!"

532
00:25:20,442 --> 00:25:21,712
"You can't control it, Joxer.

533
00:25:21,981 --> 00:25:23,089
You're under some sort of--

534
00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:25,321
hypnotic spell, or something.

535
00:25:25,574 --> 00:25:27,453
Any bell ringing transforms you.

536
00:25:27,453 --> 00:25:28,664
Not just the necklace.

537
00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:31,016
Where did you get it?"

538
00:25:31,261 --> 00:25:32,074
"I don't remember."

539
00:25:32,665 --> 00:25:33,619
"Well, think about it.

540
00:25:34,290 --> 00:25:35,215
Did anything unusual happen
to you that morning?"

541
00:25:37,673 --> 00:25:39,890
"Uhhh-- I woke up, and I ate breakfast."

542
00:25:40,389 --> 00:25:41,202
"After that?"

543
00:25:42,130 --> 00:25:45,298
"Um-- um-- yeah, I, ah--

544
00:25:45,537 --> 00:25:47,677
found you-- um-- guarded your rear,

545
00:25:48,202 --> 00:25:49,780
met Aphrodite, had a pomegranite--

546
00:25:49,780 --> 00:25:50,805
it had a lot of seeds.

547
00:25:50,805 --> 00:25:52,136
-  I don't like the kind with--"
- "Wait a minute.

548
00:25:52,136 --> 00:25:53,637
Did you say you met Aphrodite?"

549
00:25:53,637 --> 00:25:55,619
"Yeah-- she was hot, too."

550
00:25:55,619 --> 00:25:59,119
"Well, she must want to break up
Ileandra and Sarpedon.

551
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,423
And she's using you to do it.

552
00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:04,229
I'm gonna find her."

553
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,840
"Hey!  I know what you're gonna do.

554
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,230
You're gonna find a bell to ring,

555
00:26:07,230 --> 00:26:09,408
so I can get out of
these chains, aren't you?"

556
00:26:09,408 --> 00:26:10,653
"Hah.  No, no, no.

557
00:26:11,058 --> 00:26:12,514
No-- you're becoming a super-sexy

558
00:26:12,514 --> 00:26:14,385
warrior is what got us into this mess."

559
00:26:15,302 --> 00:26:16,984
"I'm disappointed in you, Gabrielle."

560
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:18,050
"What?"

561
00:26:19,074 --> 00:26:20,198
"I think you're jealous.

562
00:26:20,198 --> 00:26:21,261
I can understand that.

563
00:26:21,261 --> 00:26:21,964
I mean--

564
00:26:21,964 --> 00:26:23,465
you wanna be the hero so bad,

565
00:26:23,465 --> 00:26:24,816
you can't stand the thought of me

566
00:26:24,816 --> 00:26:25,889
saving the day.

567
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:30,811
Gabrielle, there's nothing
wrong with being a sidekick."

568
00:26:31,018 --> 00:26:32,176
"Glad you like it, Joxer.

569
00:26:32,176 --> 00:26:33,500
You'll make a great sidekick.

570
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:35,370
Just-- hang in there and keep the faith."

571
00:26:35,370 --> 00:26:38,205
"I'm not a sidekick; I'm a hero!

572
00:26:42,449 --> 00:26:44,092
Joxer the Mighty

573
00:26:44,092 --> 00:26:45,861
roams through the countryside,

574
00:26:45,861 --> 00:26:47,576
he never needs a place to hide.

575
00:26:47,794 --> 00:26:49,810
With Gaby as his sidekick,

576
00:26:49,810 --> 00:26:51,223
fighting with her little stick.

577
00:26:51,223 --> 00:26:53,607
Righting wrongs and singing songs.

578
00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:56,374
Being mightly all day long.

579
00:26:56,374 --> 00:26:58,841
He's Joxer, he's Joxer the Mighty.

580
00:26:58,841 --> 00:27:01,468
Oh, he's Joxer the Mighty,

581
00:27:01,468 --> 00:27:02,786
he's really tidy.

582
00:27:02,786 --> 00:27:04,437
Everybody likes him

583
00:27:04,437 --> 00:27:05,990
'cause he has a funny grin.

584
00:27:05,990 --> 00:27:08,789
Joxer!   He's Joxer the Mighty!

585
00:27:21,349 --> 00:27:22,675
"Enter!

586
00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:27,295
Do you have word of Ileandra?"

587
00:27:27,295 --> 00:27:28,319
"Yes, King Baris.

588
00:27:28,319 --> 00:27:30,451
The Princess has been taken to Amphis

589
00:27:30,451 --> 00:27:31,655
by King Linius and his personal guard."

590
00:27:31,655 --> 00:27:32,585
"His guard?

591
00:27:32,585 --> 00:27:33,620
Why did he need soldiers?

592
00:27:33,620 --> 00:27:34,938
And where is Sarpedon?

593
00:27:34,938 --> 00:27:37,542
Prepare my horse!

594
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,471
I'm going to Amphis
to get my daughter."

595
00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:51,400
"Aphrodite?  Aphrodite.

596
00:28:00,211 --> 00:28:02,203
I'd-- I'd like to talk to you.

597
00:28:03,954 --> 00:28:04,894
If you can hear me--"

598
00:28:07,535 --> 00:28:10,332
"Could you be any more clumsy?!

599
00:28:10,332 --> 00:28:15,014
This is like a brand-new antique."

600
00:28:15,779 --> 00:28:16,924
"Aphorodite."

601
00:28:19,177 --> 00:28:21,780
You're that goody-two
shoes that hangs around my boy,

602
00:28:21,780 --> 00:28:23,038
Joxer."

603
00:28:23,366 --> 00:28:24,189
"Gabrielle."

604
00:28:24,530 --> 00:28:25,343
"Mmm."

605
00:28:25,343 --> 00:28:27,514
"Ah, Joxer is the reason that I'm here.

606
00:28:28,519 --> 00:28:30,365
Look, you have got to
take the spell off of him--

607
00:28:30,365 --> 00:28:31,603
and everybody else."

608
00:28:32,020 --> 00:28:33,016
"Why should I do that?"

609
00:28:34,311 --> 00:28:36,381
"Now, I'm sure there's a reason
why you're doing this.

610
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:39,171
But it can't be worth breaking
up Ileandra and Sarpedon.

611
00:28:39,739 --> 00:28:40,836
They're in love.

612
00:28:41,485 --> 00:28:43,691
That _is_ what matters
to you most, isn't it?"

613
00:28:43,691 --> 00:28:46,159
"Ah, gosh-- she sounds
like you, Cupid."

614
00:28:47,221 --> 00:28:51,563
"Cupid-- can you talk
her out of this?"

615
00:28:52,024 --> 00:28:53,785
"What's your name, little girl?"

616
00:28:54,352 --> 00:28:55,397
"Gabrielle."

617
00:28:55,397 --> 00:28:56,784
"Gabrielle.

618
00:28:57,190 --> 00:28:58,487
Well, Gabrielle,

619
00:28:58,487 --> 00:28:59,578
when the goddess of love

620
00:28:59,578 --> 00:29:02,135
decides to do something
petty and spiteful,

621
00:29:02,135 --> 00:29:05,109
she can be a tad difficult
to reason with."

622
00:29:07,252 --> 00:29:07,865
"So you're going to

623
00:29:07,865 --> 00:29:09,394
let an innocent man die?"

624
00:29:09,394 --> 00:29:10,814
"Oh, come on!

625
00:29:11,095 --> 00:29:12,408
No one's really innocent.

626
00:29:12,617 --> 00:29:15,266
Well-- maybe you.

627
00:29:16,206 --> 00:29:18,595
Besides-- I can't break the spell.

628
00:29:18,595 --> 00:29:19,477
If I did, everyone would

629
00:29:19,477 --> 00:29:21,876
think I was pressured
into it by some mortal.

630
00:29:22,180 --> 00:29:23,455
My goddess stock
would plummet."

631
00:29:23,455 --> 00:29:24,158
"But--"

632
00:29:24,158 --> 00:29:25,522
"I gotta bail.

633
00:29:25,522 --> 00:29:28,390
Bodacious waves at Naxos.
Later."

634
00:29:31,978 --> 00:29:33,445
"If I can get her to break the spell,

635
00:29:33,655 --> 00:29:35,298
can you set everything
straight again?"

636
00:29:35,298 --> 00:29:36,199
"Sure, but--

637
00:29:36,199 --> 00:29:38,074
there isn't anything
you can do about it."

638
00:29:38,718 --> 00:29:39,713
"Oh, no.

639
00:29:40,465 --> 00:29:42,471
Get those arrows of yours ready."

640
00:29:49,087 --> 00:29:49,996
"Hey, where're you taking me?!"

641
00:29:59,254 --> 00:30:00,472
"How could you do
this to me, Joxer?"

642
00:30:00,692 --> 00:30:01,147
"What?!"

643
00:30:01,147 --> 00:30:03,205
"How could you steal the
only woman I have ever loved?"

644
00:30:03,456 --> 00:30:04,504
"I didn't mean to."

645
00:30:06,115 --> 00:30:07,455
"Yeah-- sure.

646
00:30:07,455 --> 00:30:09,079
That's what all you great warriors say, but

647
00:30:09,079 --> 00:30:10,992
you always have to end up
with the most beautiful women,

648
00:30:10,992 --> 00:30:12,681
don't you?
Tell me, Joxer,

649
00:30:12,681 --> 00:30:13,805
what's your secret?"

650
00:30:14,010 --> 00:30:16,834
"Well, I-- try to eat right,
exercise, although, uh-- I do

651
00:30:17,161 --> 00:30:20,050
get a little constipated
sometimes.  You know?"

652
00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:23,863
"Having found the accused guilty
of threatening the peace--

653
00:30:24,197 --> 00:30:26,581
I hearby sentence him to public
execution

654
00:30:27,377 --> 00:30:30,534
pubishment to be
carried out forthwith."

655
00:30:30,782 --> 00:30:32,125
"Oh, ah, ah-- listen.

656
00:30:32,331 --> 00:30:33,768
Why don't we talk about this?  I um--

657
00:30:33,768 --> 00:30:34,676
we could have lunch.

658
00:30:34,676 --> 00:30:36,596
There's a great place right
near Akmar the meat man.

659
00:30:36,596 --> 00:30:39,099
Gabrielle, where are you?!"

660
00:30:42,694 --> 00:30:43,613
"Sarpedon, please--

661
00:30:44,093 --> 00:30:45,298
stop this insanity.

662
00:30:46,501 --> 00:30:47,579
I don't love Joxer.

663
00:30:47,579 --> 00:30:48,595
I never did.

664
00:30:48,846 --> 00:30:50,082
I love you and only you."

665
00:30:50,470 --> 00:30:53,456
"You would say anything to
save Joxer's life right now.

666
00:30:53,958 --> 00:30:55,646
I have seen you with him, Ileandra.

667
00:30:56,346 --> 00:30:57,502
I know you love him."

668
00:30:57,502 --> 00:30:59,648
"No-- it was all a mistake."

669
00:30:59,648 --> 00:31:00,563
"Wait, wait!

670
00:31:00,563 --> 00:31:01,646
I have a last request.

671
00:31:01,929 --> 00:31:03,177
I'd, um-- love to hear

672
00:31:03,177 --> 00:31:04,537
to the sound of a bell ringing.

673
00:31:04,537 --> 00:31:05,947
Call me sentimental, but, ah--"

674
00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:06,961
"Denied!"

675
00:31:06,961 --> 00:31:08,336
"What a gip--no last request.

676
00:31:08,336 --> 00:31:10,038
I'm gonna notify the
executioners' guild!"

677
00:31:10,309 --> 00:31:12,916
"Off with his head!"

678
00:31:15,276 --> 00:31:15,900
"Excuse me."

679
00:31:37,590 --> 00:31:39,657
"Wait!  I regret--

680
00:31:40,476 --> 00:31:42,525
that I have but one life to give for,

681
00:31:43,264 --> 00:31:46,358
for--whatever it is I'm giving it for!

682
00:31:46,945 --> 00:31:48,538
Oooh!  Hah!

683
00:32:33,576 --> 00:32:35,328
You've gotta work on
your aim, my friend."

684
00:32:35,779 --> 00:32:37,091
"Perhaps you used the wrong end.

685
00:32:40,138 --> 00:32:40,981
Hah-hah!

686
00:32:59,705 --> 00:33:01,333
For inspiration."

687
00:33:14,049 --> 00:33:16,063
"Excuse me.  Hello."

688
00:33:18,584 --> 00:33:19,393
"I'm sorry.

689
00:33:19,669 --> 00:33:21,181
My love, for you is still as strong.

690
00:33:21,181 --> 00:33:22,734
I would gladly die for you."

691
00:33:22,939 --> 00:33:23,905
"Oh, you're so noble.

692
00:33:24,110 --> 00:33:25,601
But, would you mind moving?

693
00:33:25,802 --> 00:33:27,367
I really must watch him fight."

694
00:33:38,428 --> 00:33:39,750
"Enough of this play."

695
00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:47,799
"Are you all right?  What--?"

696
00:33:47,799 --> 00:33:49,489
"Don't even bother."

697
00:34:05,426 --> 00:34:07,992
"Well-- King Linius.

698
00:34:09,534 --> 00:34:10,457
What an honor it is to meet a man

699
00:34:10,457 --> 00:34:12,459
known as the greatest
swordsman in the kingdom.

700
00:34:15,222 --> 00:34:17,871
I do hope that reputation
is not-- unwarranted."

701
00:34:22,630 --> 00:34:23,832
"You've met your match."

702
00:34:28,083 --> 00:34:29,463
"You're right.

703
00:34:29,989 --> 00:34:32,768
You're able to-- parry
anything I-- throw at you--

704
00:34:33,002 --> 00:34:35,353
with my left hand.

705
00:34:38,720 --> 00:34:40,044
But I'm right-handed, you see.

706
00:34:53,416 --> 00:34:54,153
Well--

707
00:34:54,548 --> 00:34:55,712
this makes it interesting.

708
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:07,823
Missed me!  Hah-hah!"

709
00:35:07,823 --> 00:35:09,370
"Take the fight into the temple!"

710
00:35:14,262 --> 00:35:15,525
"As you wish."

711
00:35:20,885 --> 00:35:22,451
"Ahhh!  That was scary."

712
00:35:32,915 --> 00:35:34,634
"Exsqueeze me!

713
00:35:34,940 --> 00:35:36,558
There's no fighting in my temple!

714
00:35:54,722 --> 00:35:56,568
That was a statue of me!"

715
00:35:57,018 --> 00:35:58,021
"Not anymore.

716
00:35:58,789 --> 00:35:59,757
You can end this."

717
00:36:01,074 --> 00:36:03,425
"The only way to end it is
to take the spell off Joxer."

718
00:36:03,926 --> 00:36:04,612
"Well?"

719
00:36:05,052 --> 00:36:05,978
"Dream on."

720
00:36:06,632 --> 00:36:08,708
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

721
00:36:35,884 --> 00:36:38,307
"Not my vase from Thrace!"

722
00:36:38,307 --> 00:36:39,864
"Take off the spell.

723
00:36:52,314 --> 00:36:53,737
Take off the spell.

724
00:36:54,528 --> 00:36:56,119
You're the goddess of love.

725
00:36:56,344 --> 00:36:57,857
Love is soft and gentle.

726
00:36:57,857 --> 00:36:59,843
It's not violent and cruel."

727
00:37:01,974 --> 00:37:04,257
"You don't know much
about love, do you?"

728
00:37:04,257 --> 00:37:05,678
"I know it's not war.

729
00:37:05,678 --> 00:37:07,038
Now, look what they're
doing to your temple."

730
00:37:07,038 --> 00:37:07,729
"All the more reason

731
00:37:07,729 --> 00:37:09,535
I don't wanna lose my other temples."

732
00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:11,268
"If you don't stop this,

733
00:37:11,268 --> 00:37:13,923
I'll take Joxer on a tour
of all your temples."

734
00:37:29,315 --> 00:37:30,520
"All right, I give.

735
00:37:36,372 --> 00:37:38,188
He's the idiot full time, again."

736
00:37:38,188 --> 00:37:39,515
"Where am I?"

737
00:37:53,029 --> 00:37:53,957
"Gabrielle.

738
00:37:55,762 --> 00:37:56,855
Thank you for everyting."

739
00:37:56,855 --> 00:37:58,045
"You're a real hero."

740
00:37:58,576 --> 00:38:00,409
"I'm just an over-achieving sidekick.

741
00:38:01,809 --> 00:38:03,856
Remember, that love
is about trust and giving.

742
00:38:04,367 --> 00:38:05,333
It's not about--

743
00:38:05,333 --> 00:38:07,183
anger and jealousy."

744
00:38:07,476 --> 00:38:09,880
"She really doesn't get it, does she?"

745
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,958
"Maybe, she gets it better than any of us."

746
00:38:17,102 --> 00:38:18,995
"Hey-- where'd this come from?

747
00:38:20,336 --> 00:38:21,436
I'm sorry-- is this yours?"

748
00:38:25,063 --> 00:38:25,630
"Goodbye."

749
00:38:25,630 --> 00:38:26,858
"Congratulations."

750
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:29,790
"Are they afraid of me?"

751
00:38:30,626 --> 00:38:31,405
"They are."

752
00:38:32,009 --> 00:38:34,261
"Oh-- No, they're not.

753
00:38:34,666 --> 00:38:36,170
They're disgusted with me."

754
00:38:36,463 --> 00:38:37,225
"Oh."

755
00:38:38,549 --> 00:38:39,159
"You know--

756
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:41,904
now I know what it's
like to be admired by

757
00:38:42,146 --> 00:38:43,483
beautiful women
and brave men.

758
00:38:44,231 --> 00:38:45,294
Now that things are
back to normal,

759
00:38:45,622 --> 00:38:46,629
I know what I am--

760
00:38:46,629 --> 00:38:48,172
I'm a big phoney."

761
00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:49,704
"That's not true."

762
00:38:50,314 --> 00:38:51,391
"Stop it, Gabrielle.

763
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,925
You're the hero here
even I know that.

764
00:38:54,652 --> 00:38:55,963
I don't even rate great sidekick.

765
00:38:58,027 --> 00:38:59,503
Go on back to Xena.

766
00:39:01,220 --> 00:39:02,751
I don't know why I'm
hanging out with you guys.

767
00:39:03,778 --> 00:39:04,307
I don't know why

768
00:39:04,307 --> 00:39:06,202
I convinced myself I ever could."

769
00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:22,353
"Hi, Joxer."

770
00:39:23,735 --> 00:39:24,684
"Hi, Xena.

771
00:39:25,079 --> 00:39:26,643
Come to get a laugh at my expense?

772
00:39:27,548 --> 00:39:28,380
I can't blame you if you did--

773
00:39:28,380 --> 00:39:29,658
that's all I'm good for."

774
00:39:29,658 --> 00:39:31,630
"Gabrielle told me all
about what happened.

775
00:39:32,509 --> 00:39:32,776
You did some

776
00:39:32,985 --> 00:39:34,002
very brave things."

777
00:39:34,376 --> 00:39:35,564
"Yeah, but that wasn't me."

778
00:39:36,087 --> 00:39:37,148
"That's where you're wrong."

779
00:39:39,926 --> 00:39:40,760
"What do you mean?"

780
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,130
"The gods can't give us anything
that isn't in our hearts.

781
00:39:43,662 --> 00:39:45,720
Aphrodite just used
what was already there.

782
00:39:46,347 --> 00:39:48,834
The real Joxer may not be
the best swordsman around,

783
00:39:48,834 --> 00:39:50,871
but he's always had the heart of a lion."

784
00:39:53,277 --> 00:39:55,064
"You're just saying that
to make me feel better."

785
00:39:56,245 --> 00:39:57,744
"You calling me a liar?"

786
00:40:03,003 --> 00:40:03,955
"No."

787
00:40:04,429 --> 00:40:06,867
"Well, then-- like I said."

788
00:40:18,777 --> 00:40:19,503
"How'd it go?"

789
00:40:20,088 --> 00:40:21,336
"I cheered him up."

790
00:40:21,551 --> 00:40:23,150
"Good-- I hated
to see him so sad.

791
00:40:23,572 --> 00:40:24,693
You know-- now that
he knows the truth,

792
00:40:24,693 --> 00:40:27,435
I guess he'll never be as deluded
as he used to be.  Huh!"

793
00:40:29,332 --> 00:40:32,231
"Joxer the lion-hearted
is ready for action!"

794
00:40:33,835 --> 00:40:34,599
"Maybe not."

795
00:40:34,834 --> 00:40:36,037
"Joxer the Mighty;

796
00:40:36,254 --> 00:40:37,971
he's very tidy.

797
00:40:37,971 --> 00:40:39,949
Everyone admires him.

798
00:40:39,949 --> 00:40:41,786
He's so handsome, it's a sin.

799
00:40:41,786 --> 00:40:43,260
If you're in jeopardy,

800
00:40:43,994 --> 00:40:45,700
don't call the cavalry.

801
00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:47,496
There's a better remedy.

802
00:40:47,496 --> 00:40:49,432
(Although he doesn't work for free!)

803
00:40:49,432 --> 00:40:51,246
He's every man's trustee;

804
00:40:51,246 --> 00:40:53,058
he's every woman's fantasy.

805
00:40:53,058 --> 00:40:54,902
Plus, he's good with company.

806
00:40:54,902 --> 00:40:56,310
It's Joxer--

807
00:40:56,310 --> 00:40:58,728
I'm Joxer the Mighty!  Hah-hah!"

808
00:40:58,728 --> 00:41:01,015
Captioned by Grantman Brown